Offense

I was daydreaming the other day - a real juicy one, you know, one of those brain threads that keeps unraveling and unraveling...eww, gross...

Anyway...I was daydreaming and something popped into my mind...Wreck It Ralph! Eh, not the best Disney movie, but then again, not the worst. I liked it for all the video game references :)  We watched it a few months ago, but I guess it came to my attention again the other day when I heard a clip from the movie being played on one of the video feeds in Target's entertainment section. It was a clip from when Ralph first landed in the game Sugar Rush and met little Vanellope, a clumsy "glitch" from the game (I'm not gonna give a synopsis of the movie, just watch it sometime if you're really that interested in filling in the blanks); but as curious Vanellope is grilling Ralph as to how he got into her game, she asks him a tongue-in-cheek question, one that is meant to sound cute & naive coming from a little girl: "are you a hobo?" That's a cute line, and the cute indignity of the transaction between the two characters provides some comic relief for an otherwise tense moment.

When I heard that clip the other day, I remembered a feeling I had when we first watched the movie at home a few months ago. It was a twinge. There's no better way I can describe it. A twinge. Not a facial expression, more of an internal feeling. Some people would go so far as to call this feeling offended, but I don't like using that word because to me it conjures the thought of a 1930's sewing circle of nose-raised holier-than-thou's. So I'll leave it at a twinge.

Now let me be the first to say, I liked the movie! I don't condemn it as unethical or morally scathing. It's actually a fun, comical movie! - one quite enjoyable for a recovering video game addict like myself. I'm not speaking to the nature of the movie, I'm just touching on a subtle shift in values, a sneaky trick played through culture on so many levels: I'm talking about convictions, and in the larger scope, our integrity. You see, the twinge I felt did not fling me into an uproar, nor did it cause me to turn off the movie altogether. It was kinda like a bad taste in my mouth, and I can trace it back to this one conviction: I feel compassion on the homeless and disenfranchised. 

Now this is the part where you're thinking, "C'mon Shane, lighten up. You're blowing this way out of proportion. You're being way too sensitive!" Nope, I don't think so. I'm no fundamentalist by any means, but I do have convictions, and when something or someone makes light of an oppressed group of people, it sorta rubs me the wrong way. Kinda like if someone had a sibling with Down syndrome, they would feel that same twinge if they heard someone using certain slang terms flippantly. On the other hand, I'm not trying to go down the whole "politically correct" road either, I'm just making a simple statement: the culture that surrounds us is not offended by much anymore.

I went through a good part of my teenage years and all of my college years trying not to feel any twinges toward anything. Whenever I was asked about one of my "grey areas," I even used the phrase, "I don't feel convicted about that right now," like I was thinking, "maybe I'll take a stance on the issue someday, but I want to do whatever I can before being bound to convictions." Well, I've found that the irony in that mindset is that after all these years, I've found that true freedom is found by way of conviction, by way of integrity. I watched all kinds of movies, played all kinds of video games, listened to all kinds of music, hung out with all kinds of people - I just brushed it off, avoiding one reality: I had convictions, but I was choosing to ignore them. We all do this, in some way, shape or form, at one time or another.

Look around, take a gander - really sit down and take a look at our culture. Through freedom of speech, I'm allowed to write this blog, which I'm grateful for; but because our nation has supported freedom as relative, integrity as relative, void of a standard for conviction, culture and the media are influencing us and our children with one subtle message: if you've got twinges, you're uptight, ultra-conservative, and downright uncool.

There was a time when being a man/woman of conviction was seen as the gold standard, a high calling and an honor. Since then the gold standard has been lowered and dragged through the mud, and in it's place came an extreme lack of fidelity by way of neglected integrity and a penchant for ignoring a healthy view of the world around us in order to satiate our selfish desires. Nothing is off-limits anymore - no holds barred, everything is fair game, nothing is untouchable. Certain TV shows, musicians, and celebrities pride themselves in being irreverent.

You've heard it said, "If you won't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." It's so true, but when I was unraveling this daydream thread the other day, I got a good nugget that holds the same truth: "If nothing offends you, it's likely you're not defending anything." If nothing shoves you a little, it's likely you're not standing for anything. Just like basketball. I was never a great defensive basketball player; I always enjoyed offense more than defense, so that always affected my sense of urgency on defense. My level of defense would depend on my adrenaline spurts and fatigue, and more often than not, I would just be a body to get past. Cold confession, I know, but it serves a point. Since I didn't care as much about defense as I did offense, I let a lot of things slip by. The same is true for our integrity - if you let what's on offense, those "offending" you, slip by because you don't have that sense of urgency, you aren't really defending much are you?

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." I'm not saying to be super paranoid and stuck up, I'm saying to examine your convictions and what's shaping them. Have you been getting a twinge about anything lately? Embrace it, that's your integrity shining through. Don't be a snob about it, stand for something. Don't be afraid of your twinges, it means you're standing, you're defending. More about defense next time.

Notification Station

Whoo-hoo! Welcome to the Notification Station, where my blog posts meet your eyeballs! Haha, anyway I've been thinking, and I wanted to give you the chance to receive a notification whenever I've posted something new. I always update Facebook/Twitter when I've posted something new, but if you prefer, I can email you. All you have to do is comment on this posting with your email address and I'll be sure to email you whenever I've put up something new! Not to worry, this blog is set up in a way that allows me to moderate the comments before they appear on my site. I'll simply gather your info privately, and then discard your comment - it will never see the light of day on the internet! Cross my heart. Anyway, drop me a comment if you want to be part of Notification Station!

Bone-Throwing

I've come to a solid awareness of something over the past year or so, and I'd like to try to flesh it out. Let's see if I can:

Tests. Trials. Hardship. Anguish. Etc. Etc. - that's the setting. There are many scenes, but only a select cast of characters - definitely you, God, and maybe a loved one, like a spouse. The script, one you wrote yourself, is a thick stack laying on the table before you, full of praying, pleading, wanting, needing. Full of victories, the claiming of God's promises, the growth it takes to move along. Full of hot tears, cold nights, a thickening plot of love and bitterness clashing in battle for your attention, warring over your mind. So again you pray, again you find your quiet place and hunker down to beg the Divine for an answer, for favor, for clarity...for attention...

And you wait...

Gosh, the waiting! It's the salt in the recipe: bitter to the tongue when it's tasted on it's own, but when added to the recipe, the eventual "final" product tastes all the more delicious for having added it. It's a necessary ingredient for a bold, full-flavored dish. A fully-flavored life. Here's what I've had to learn, through the waiting, through the hardships, through the mud-trudging: God is much more generous by nature than we think. I dare say there's been something in Christian culture that has departed from this idea in a certain way, but I believe the correct mentality is on it's way back into our culture, our teaching, and eventually the world as a whole.

Our pastor, Steven Furtick, was talking about this not too long ago - that somewhere along the line, a terrible shift occurred in the minds of believers. We may even do it without realizing it: we claim to have faith in God, but limit Him or put certain clauses in our prayers. One example of this infectious mindset is how we pray. I've done this myself in the past, and I sense it in other people's prayers: "God, please heal her, if it be your will;" that is basically a clause in your prayer saying, "God, I really want this to happen, and I even have faith that it can, but if you decide not to, it's cool." That is faulty faith. It's wimpy faith, actually. True faith doesn't say God can, it knows God will. If it lines up with God's truth - His holy word, His character, His promises - we can count on it. Not saying that God never says no...He definitely does, but that's the exception to the rule, not the standard. The rule is that our prayers matter. They move mountains (Matthew 17:20), they are supposed to contain the Word of God, the life-blood of healing and authority in Christ's name against all evil (Hebrews 4:12). For more on this train of thought, check out Pastor Furtick's amazing book, "Sun Stand Still." It will change the way you pray, and it will help form a healthy view of God's generous character and the punch our prayers should pack.

Part of this incorrect mindset, this faulty faith, is the assumption that God is a bone-thrower. Let me explain: I'm not talking about playing fetch with Fido, I'm talking about God's nature. Many people pray like God is withholding something good from them, like your blessing is in the clutches of an evil villain, ringing his hands and cackling with delight over your heartache. Psalm 84:11-12 says, "For the Lord God is a sun and shield, the Lord bestows favor and honor, no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you." God is not clenching your blessing or His promises in an angry fist, waiting for you to pray the right prayer or dance the right dance before He'll let it go. In the past I've prayed to Him with all my heart for a break-through, my spirit torn with anguish, begging God - and the whole time, I just wanted Him to throw me a bone. That was my mentality - "Throw me a bone, God, c'mon! Pretty please?" But God is not a bone-thrower...He's an extravagant Giver, and even if He doesn't give it right away, you can rest in His promise that He's cooking something so much tastier than your limited pallet could ever imagine.

Take a look at Luke 15, the story of the Lost Son, and tell me God isn't an overwhelming Giver, gifting us with more than we bargained for, more than we deserve. But that's God, and He loves being that way toward us. You've gotta believe He wants good for you, He longs to bless you. We've gotta stop limiting Him with prayer clauses and faulty faith, with bone-thrower mentalities. We've got to embrace that God is a God of love - our only source of true vitality, hope, promise - after all, He is the Master Chef.

Content Contents

The other day I overheard this German lady I work with joking with another co-worker how English has so many words that share a common spelling/pronunciation, but have very different meanings. In linguistics, this is called a homonym (thanks Wikipedia - rimshot for achieving a degree in writing yet not knowing that term offhand). Fun example time: stalk (corn legs) and stalk (the only reason single men walk around Victoria's Secret); tear (what rolled down my cheek at the end of Toy Story 3 - only a true man admits that) and tear (the result of an intense night of basketball after nearly a year of zero exercise); fill (what I have to do to my gas tank every two minutes) and Phil (TV's saucy psychologist with a bent for being overly dramatic - ironic anyone?). Anyway, this conversation gets me thinking about another homonym that I can relate to right now: content (satisfied, finding surroundings/circumstances sufficient) and content (the stuff of life, the fillers, the substance).

To a stranger, the circumstances my wife and I are living in right now may seem undesirable, incomplete, a bitter taste in one's mouth perhaps. But in our minds, we are right where we want to be. We are content. And that is 100% God's doing. He brought us to this point, to the place in our character where we can look at the storm and smile. "That sounds crazy, Shane, what are you smokin'?" No kidding, only God can refine us enough to where we look upon hardship as opportunity, view trials with joy. Why? Because I've scraped the bottom of my personal deep end the past few years, especially recently, and I've come to realize some things:

1. Yes, God has an amazing purpose for our lives, reinforced by His promises, affirmed by His prophecy even.

2. There is absolutely no freaking way we would be able to handle the next season without the proper equipment, without God Himself refining our character to be able to handle the challenges that lie ahead. The only time we'll move ahead is when God knows we're good and ready, and to demand otherwise of Him is impatient, very selfish, and obscenely foolish.

3. God is a God of process, not instant gratification. If He made us who we're supposed to be overnight, where would we go from there? What authority would we have? There is value in experience, in the long road, and there is authority in experience. It's like playing a board game - it seems to me there are two types of people in this world: those who play impatiently, always jonesin' for the finish line and never find joy in playing the game; or there are those who enjoy actually playing the game - the challenges, the thrills, the questions - because they know they'll become a better player for it, and have tons of fun with whoever they're playing with. Because you know what? We are being built, right here and now, into someone who will be able handle with confidence the things we couldn't right now. James 1:2-4 says:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

One of my favorite bands, Mainstay, said it well: "You're just becoming who you are..."

I am genuinely ecstatic despite these dry, brittle days, because I am pregnant with the hope of what God's flourishing through this. It seems like the harder the battle, the greater the victory. We are truly content with the contents of our lives right now, knowing full well, as we press into God and move forward with Him, He will reward our trust...

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Back-Up Plan, Part Deux

"It's not the best of me that's assembling a back-up plan for you..."

Sample prayers:

1. God, why didn't that job opportunity come through? I prayed a bazillion times, I crossed my fingers and my toes, I even wore my lucky underoos! I haven't worn those since that one time I asked that lifeguard chick out for dinner at The Liver and Lima Beans Shack...and come to think of it, that didn't work out either! What's up with this, God? I thought you had a plan for me?

2. Dear God, I just don't think things are going to work out between us. I mean, how could you do this to me? I thought you lined up Johnny for me, but guess what God? Johnny just dumped me! For Geeky Gertie nonetheless! I don't know what to do, but I'm finding that my prayers are feeling more and more empty.

(Or on a more serious level...)

3. Dear Lord, things are so unbearable right now. You know how much I loved her, why did she have to pass so soon? She was in so much pain up until the end. Why didn't you heal her? I'm starting to think you don't even hear me, or don't care.

There are some common threads in all these prayers, tying us to some of these feelings in some way. I'll be the first to admit I've had my faith in God shaken in the past, pretty recently actually. When the promises we've received from God don't surface right away, when our life-purpose seems to be put on hold, we can get a little distrusting of God. It's almost like that feeling you get when you're a passenger in a car and the car starts crossing the yellow lines. You look over to the driver, but you can't tell if he's sleeping or not because he's got sunglasses on. So with a few more swerves, you've gotta blurt out the obvious question, "Are you awake?!" That's the feeling: distrust.

Given, if you're ever in a car when the driver's checking out, it's not wrong to fear for your life and smack him across the arm. Please, go ahead and do that! But you've gotta understand that in relation to God, something's different here: He's not asleep. Even if the car is headed for the ditch, He's in control. He made the car. He made you. He gets that you are leery and that faith is hard. He understands your cries for help, asking if He's awake. And you know what? If you keep your trust in Him, you'll realize a little further down the road someday just how in-control He was when your faith was shaken the most.

We shouldn't be ashamed of the bumps in our faith road, they actually help pave a better road for the future. Hebrews 11:6 says, "Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." This verse doesn't imply that God unfairly demands perfection from us, that He commands blind faith like a lemming. Nope, that's not God. What this verse is really saying is that faith is the compass on our journey, keeping us pointed in the right direction.

If we start assembling a back-up plan for God and don't trust Him, our compass is defective and starts pointing all different directions. Then where's the clarity? There is none at all at that point. See, this verse says something else: the compass is pointing us to God's purpose, God's promises, God's "reward" for those who earnestly seek Him, for those who stay the course and stand firm on God's word, on God's character - He is faithful.

Toss your back-up plan! Stay faithful and stand firm on God's promises. Each step you take forward is a step with God's help, guided by the light of His word and the compass of your faith. Parting words from Psalm 145:

You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does.

              The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

              He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; 

              He hears their cry and saves them.

              The Lord watches over all who love him...

Back-Up Plan

"It's not the best of me that's assembling a back-up plan for you..."

Brass tacks: there are two ways to define what make up a person's interests - 1.) preferences and 2.) passions. We all have TONS of preferences! Among other things, I'm a Cheez-It enthusiast, a coffee fiend (bold, but light and sweet! Hmm, does that speak to my personality a bit?) and my taste in music doesn't match the region of the country I live in (sorry Dixie land). On the other hand, passions go a bit further, a little deeper, and hold a lot more weight. They aren't nearly as numerous as preferences, and they certainly have a lot more substance in a person's life and livelihood. One of my passions is music - playing it on my guitars mostly - but more specifically, my passion is songwriting. 

Lately I've been thinking about this lyric I wrote in one of my originals called "Pretending." It was one of the first songs I wrote when I started on my current songwriting project back in 2007. Looking back on early works of any kind is always kinda fun, and kinda embarrassing, seeing as I've gotten a lot better at songwriting since then. But there are always diamonds in the rough, and this line is one of them to me. It sums up a feeling we all encounter at times: distrust.

I grew up in a loving Christian home, so I had the head knowledge about a ton of spiritual matter long before I hit the real world. But, as I've found since graduating college and getting married back in '09 (in the same week, nonetheless!), it's one thing to know about spiritual matters such as trusting God, solidifying your faith, and loving your neighbor, but it's an entirely different animal actually doing it when the poo flings wildly into the fan. It's almost like I've had to relearn everything, but this time bring it from the head to the heart.

 A lot of people are stuck right now because they've never made that transition from head to heart. Back in the day, I learned one of Jesus' quotes in Sunday school, "Be angry and sin not," but that's hard to remember when the neighbor's dog is off the leash for literally the thousandth time, trying to scrap with your leashed pups. I've got to stop and be intentional right then and there: head to heart. As a child, I was read a ton of bedtime stories about self-control and patience, but when a customer is poking at my last nerve with their blatant disrespect, it's hard not to give them the proper piece of my mind. Head to heart. One of the things I heard the most during my childhood was "trust God," almost without any explanation as to why I need to want to do that; but when confronted with a dead-end job, no gigs coming in (despite a butt-load of inquiring), bills that erase our paychecks and then some, and a distinct lack of any prospects on the horizon, I realize that trusting God went from a good idea to a necessity for survival. Head to heart.

Life can pounce on you from all different angles, and that's why I'm glad God's helping me make the transition from head to heart - from knowing about self-control to practicing it, from learning about trust to actually applying it. You see? It's not much good sitting on the shelf - actually, it's quite harmful. The process hurts, but if you keep it in and don't venture to squeeze these virtues from your head to your heart, there's really no point in retaining them in the first place. It's like trying to pour a glass of wine for someone with the cork still in the bottle. It just doesn't work! Uncork the character waiting to be poured out, and let God lead you through the painful process of refinement so that one day the actions you know about in your head can come naturally to you, being branded into your heart.

Like I said earlier, this notion of distrust, it's gotta go, especially in your relationship with God. Get rid of your back up plan, there's no one better to handle your life. More on this tomorrow, but in the meantime, check out the fun song this lyric came from in a performance I did at a benefit concert back in 2010:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJ56_HvpPRo

Straight Up

I am going to tell you straight up, and I hope you don't get weirded out by it, but I don't really care if you do: I'm a follower of Christ. You're thinking one of three things right now: 1.) You're two thumbs up about it, probably because you're a Christian too, 2.) You're somewhat ok with Christians and God and all that jazz, but you're kinda uncomfortable about it, and you probably won't bookmark this blog because you assume that, because I'm a Christian, I'm going to preach at you, slug you over the noggin with a King James Bible and load you up with a good ol' fashion dose of guilt, or 3.) You have your prejudices for several reasons, most likely past experiences when you felt God let you down, and you won't hear what I have to say. 

Hear me out, one at a time:
All the #1's, that's awesome, I hope you're encouraged by my postings and share them with people you think would need those truths.

All the #2's, I'm not going to slug anyone with anything, nor am I going to dish out guilt. That's not God, that's not me, and that's definitely not what I'm going for. You need to know that many people who include the title "Christian" in their persona don't always give God a good rep. Yeah, of course no one's perfect, but I'm talking about the picket-sign pokin' street-corner prophets, or the lunatics who hate in the name of a God that scripture says "is love" (1 John 4:8), or even the "Christians" who live heretically by living the opposite message of the gospel - looking down their noses at people/things they don't approve of, all in the name of God. Plank and speck. But while there's more than enough rotten apples in the bunch, they haven't spoiled the whole barrel. The majority of Christians love people the way God intended, and they want the best for you. I'm one of those Christians, and a lot of what I'll be writing in this blog will point you to the God who is crazy in love with you, not trying to condemn you. I hope you stick around, because what you'll find in this narrative and the resources I point you to can and will bring you a fresh, healthy, vibrant drink of life.

All the #3's, I hear you, and I'm sorry you've been let down in the past. You have to know, though, that God isn't in the business of letting you down. Humans do lots of times, that's for sure; but God's not who you think He is. The God you've been told about, the God you've given a fair shake to and been disappointed by, the God you've blamed for so many personal and world-wide tragedies, He's not absent or negligent - He loves you and wants nothing more than to embrace you. It's hard to put all the pieces together sometimes, but the truth is, if we had the whole picture, we'd become gods in our own minds, insisting we know better than the one who made us. Chances are there's nothing I can say to heal your hurt and confusion, but that's what I'm getting at: God can. It's ironic, but the one you're focusing all your resentment toward, He's the Healer of the broken-hearted, the Clarity for the confused - trust me, I've had to carry some confusion/resentment to God before, and He's cleared it up for me more than once, showing His grace and love was behind it all along.

So that's the long and short of it, I guess what I'm getting at is that no matter what experiences you've had in your life, there's more than meets the eye. I don't have the whole glimpse behind the curtain, but I'll tell you one thing: I'm not going to force anything on you, my dear reader friend. I'm only going to lay out the things I've found to be true and hope you embrace them for what they are: encouragement, sustenance for your inner you, perhaps even remedies. I've known and found many of these through God's leading, so I hope you don't write me off as another cra-cra. 

Like I said yesterday, I'm only one in an ocean of  souls, but I know who sustains me and gives me hope and inner health and peace - and it ain't me. I give credit where credit is due, and I know it belongs to the one who gave me all these things - only Jesus. If a man personally handed me a wealth of treasures and investments, would I credit any other human but that man? No way! Same concept with God; I am not ignorant of who loves me and gave me the things that really matter in life - hope, a future, quality character...He's watering me like a little plant everyday, and this blog is meant to share how He's doing that as explicitly as I can pen, and to encourage you to go for a drink of His water too.

So stick around! I promise you won't regret it, and if you're open to it, I promise you'll get something out of it.

Watering Hole

I've spent the past couple days ruminating on what I want this blog to be. Nothing annoys me more than when people make a blog and talk about useless stuff - mundane, colorless droning about fluff instead of riffing on what really matters and filling in the blanks. So I've been doing some inner exploring of my own, trying to flesh out what I want to accomplish with this online narrative of my life. Here's what I came up with...


What I want this blog to be:
1. A launching pad for your own daydreams, to encourage you in a healthy thought life. 
2. An 8"x10" print of the things I bring into focus the most throughout my day, the thoughts and experiences I find most interesting through the lens of my viewpoint.
3. A watering hole for those who need a drink, perhaps of some hope they may not even know they need.
4. The hand-penned notes in the margins of my life's story.
5. A sweet spot in your online choices, a place you know you can always find rest and leave refreshed.

I'm no Dr. Oz or some sideshow that claims to have all the answers to life. In a subtle way, I see myself as the kind of person that views the world - my everyday - like what this picture suggests: one man, one soul with one vantage point in the wild mountains, drinking in its beauty, mystery, and rawness through my own little camera lens. It's amazing the perspective that can come through that little lens, isn't it?

A Dreamy Proposal

I'd like to make a proposal: down with thinking. Yep, you read it right. All in favor, raise your giggles - you know who you are, you know what I mean before I even start explaining myself. Ok, I'm not talking about cognitive atrophy, refusing to perform basic brain functions at a human standard. I'm not even talking about reality TV. I'm talking about the way we live in our own minds, and more importantly, give voice to them. 

Thinking hurts. Even the word "think" makes me cringe - it's the vagueness of it that gets me. And maybe that's the problem, maybe that's my point: vagueness. Colorlessness. Inspecificity (why isn't that a word Mr. Webster?) Point: this is not a place for me to think and flesh out my little thinks. This is a place of daydreams. This is a place of reflection. This is a place of brainstorming, and maybe even brooding at times. This is a place where I want to interpret reality, to freelance the story of my own heart, to collect and recollect the experiences I'm given and build a narrative. Yes, this is a reflection of me and what is making me. Adding color, framing the picture, bringing it into focus - I am a daydreamer, and I daydream in stereo.

"Thinking" is too general a term for how I process stuff. We don't just think, and we don't just live, so this is my crayon to this big ol' coloring book called Life.