The Middle Man

I had heartburn for quite some time. For well over a couple years actually. Constant, die-hard heartburn. But God healed me a couple weeks ago...yep, healed me of heartburn, straight up. Sounds silly maybe. But I'm not talking about the Pepto or Prilosec kind.

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I have a crazy passion for songwriting. And when I say passion, I mean a frenzied freeway of fervor buzzing through my bloodstream non-stop. I lose sleep over songs all the time. I fall asleep many nights dissecting and analyzing the lyrics of any given song I'm pounding away on, trying to hone in on the very word, syllable, rhyme pattern, metric nuance or thematic content that will better describe the verbal picture I'm trying to paint. It's locked away somewhere, and if I feel something can be better in my song, I will wrestle with the song until I unlock the best in it.

Our passions are good, God-given even. Every passion at its core is a gift of God and an avenue to honor Him, help others on their journey and bring us to a point of personal wholeness. Even the most grotesque, hell-bent, soul-degenerating "passions" have their root in God's design. The root of pornography is lust, and when we ask God redeem the lust in our hearts, we notice that at its root, lust is warped love. God gifted this world with a clean, healthy, Christ-centered version of love; but in humanity's brokenness, we warped love into something more artificial, something easier to replicate and quicker to satiate our need for love. Hence, pornography. Make sense? For more on this, see John Eldredge's fabulous book, Desire.

So, that's where my passion for songwriting enters again. You see, my God-given passion for songwriting soured. My passion was being fed by entitlement. I felt I had the right to expect God to use my songwriting gifts in the way I wanted, in the ways I thought best - according to my own agenda. And like any tree, when it's fed by something other than what God intended (like entitlement), it is slowly warped and dies. Try growing a sapling using only Dr. Pepper instead of water and see what happens.

It's about more than just a nonchalant attitude concerning our giftings and passions - like, "Here ya go, God, I guess this is yours. I'm not where I'd rather be in life, but I guess I owe you this much." That clenched-fist mentality in regards to what we're passionate about will get us nowhere quick; thinking only in terms of our agenda instead of God's purpose will undercut our very souls, along with God's plan for our lives. 

For the past couple years, I have been so frustrated that my songwriting hasn't gone much farther than family and relatively close friends. I've been so tense and antsy for my songwriting to sprout wings and fly into the blue sky by-and-by, but all I've had is a completely grounded feeling. It's even more frustrating when I know God has gifted me tremendously in this area of my life, and that I get these almost premonitional feelings that they were given to me to be used in a huge capacity. I've had an especially frequent amount of heartburn for my worship songs, ones I know God has plans for because they are so incredibly anointed beyond my comprehension - like they were plucked right out of the angels' mouths in heaven. But still...no headway. It's one of the most frustrating things requiring a divinely-inspired amount of patience in this life: stewarding something with such huge potential, yet not seeing the return as quickly as we'd like.

Let me clear something up too: God's not coming to us like we're a lost and found either. He's not saying, "Oh yes! I misplaced this, thank you for returning it!" God was very intentional about what gifts He planted in our hearts. A few weeks back our pastor was talking a little about the Parable of the Talents, as found in Matthew 25:14-30. As someone who grew up in the church, this is one of those stories I've heard about a million-and-one times. But it's uncanny how God usually speaks through stuff we've heard a million-and-one times.

I was reflecting on this story a couple months back while driving to a gig one day, and it was like God revealed a long-awaited answer to me in a flash. I'd asked God to deal with my heart concerning my gifts and the way my heart burned like a wildfire to use them in huge ways. It's a big burden to carry. But God brought to mind this parable, and it sparked the answer to a question I've had for a very long time: why does the master commend the first and the second servants equally? The first servant was given 5 talents, and he invested them and returned 10 to the master; the second servant was given 2 talents, and he invested them and returned 4 to the master...but the master commended both servants verbatim, saying "Well done good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master."

I've always wondered why the master commends them equally. The first servant returned with way more talents for the master's use, but the master saw no difference. Why? Because God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). It all boils down to what the servants did with what the master gave them: they invested it. As long as we give all the effort we can to invest with what God gives us, God will count the return by His economy, not our. Thank God.

You see, a huge factor in all this is not what the first two servants returned with, but what they were given. At the beginning of the parable, Jesus says something reassuring in Mt. 25:15: he says the master gave them talents "each according to his ability." That's where God struck a chord in me. All this time, I've been wondering why my worship songs weren't getting out there like Hillsong's or even the church we attend, Elevation. We are part of such a dynamic move of God through Elevation church, but as close as it is to my grasp, my dreams couldn't seem further away. But through this parable, God wanted me to rest in the fact that it's ok to be the second servant. I have to be ok with my current role as the middle man. Why? Is God trying to make me settle for less? No. He's trying to make me realize that all these other people I'm comparing myself to, all the success around me that I'm envious of, is all because God has gifted those people in different capacities, perhaps with more talents, more opportunities, more connections, more pathways - according to their ability.

Right now, in the very place I'm at, in the very place you're at in your life, God has given us talents according to our abilities right now. Not according to our future abilities, or our past abilities for that matter. He's observing how we invest what He's given us right now. Our current abilities may not be able to handle all the burdens and responsibilities that come with using our gifts on a grand scale. And that makes you really appreciate the one who are using the same gifts God's given you, only on a grand scale. Maybe someday I'll be ready to handle the pressure and weight that comes with using my songwriting on a grand scale, but I'm definitely not ready yet. In the meantime, though, it's still my responsibility to give all the energy I've got investing what God did give me...even if it's only 2 talents for now.

I suppose the second servant could have chosen to become envious of the first servant, saying, "No fair, master! Why does he get 5 but I only get 2?" Pout pout, wah wah. But here's the thing: if I don't invest what I have, even if it's only 1 talent like the notorious third servant got, I will not be entrusted with more someday. God only entrusts more to those who prove they can manage less. Once God sees that you have invested to the fullness of your ability with the little He's given you, He will give you more. It's like a father watching a child eat dinner - once the child has polished off the mashed potatoes, scarfed down the chicken nuggets, and given a valiant effort on the creamed corn, the father will gladly put some more nuggets and taters on the child's plate when the child is ready for it - along with some tasty carrot cake!

Now that I'm hungry, let me conclude with a message to those of us who are the second servant in the story: we have to be ok with it! It's not a demotion. It's not God dissin' us. It's Him protecting us from being in a position outside our ability to handle. Just be faithful with what you've been given right now and invest it. Only then can God trust you with more. And that is extremely comforting to a discouragement-ridden soul - it's the healing for the heartburn. 

Rylynn

For the reader's sake, I won't write a thousand words in this blog post...but this picture's definitely worth a thousand smiles! Rylynn Grace-Cadence Tracy came on December 20th, and let me tell you, life has been a whirlwind of new emotions since then. The emotions that blindside you as a new parent - being smitten-in-love with this little girl, a new sense of responsibility, giddy joy, feeling honored to be trusted with this angel. Just to name a few. It's a lot to process, and they do, they really blindside you. In a good way.

I'm ready for the journey. Jodi and I are so ready. I knew from way back in our engagement days that Jodi would make a stellar mom someday. She's got that knack, all the tangible love and intangible wisdom and discretion that makes for the perfect mother. It's going to be so fun to be Rylynn's mommy and daddy. She's 9 weeks old now and sharper than ever. The pediatrician said way back at her first appointment that she "hit the ground running." And she really did - it seems like everything she's done so far has been ahead of schedule. All the little things like lifting her head and sleeping through the night (thanks God). She's easing us into parenthood rather nicely.

My biggest workshop in parenting this little girl through these early stages is going to be my self-interest. Seems like an obvious pursuit, but it's been strangely apparent in these first few weeks...again, in the little things. Setting her down throughout the day to go do something of interest to me instead of holding her or something. Being focused on following my favorite show on Netflix instead of being intentional about creating memories. Given, she's still too young to be interacting with us, playing with toys or valuing a good-night story, but still. Eh, I know I'm over-thinking, over-analyzing. That's good though, in the sense that she'll always get my best effort as her father. I will always be a better father than I give myself credit for.

Dead to Religion (The Evidence)

So...the stork is late. With my baby girl coming any minute, this waiting-room mentality is taking its toll! It is, however, giving me some extra time in thought to help provide a concrete foundation for the series we just finished, "Dead to Religion." I encountered several verses during my time steeping in the subject matter - Scripture that jumped off the page and smacked me across the face like a floppy fish, saying, "Quote me, you big dummy!" In light of this fish-smacking, I thought it best to share the verses that most profoundly expressed the points I so adamantly shared with you. I pray that, as you read these verses, you would open your spiritual ears to what God would have to say to you, how he might free you from the chains that religion has shackled on you over the years. Open your heart to what he has to say to you, even now. Here's Dead to Religion, The Evidence:

This passage is from Paul, former prominent religious leader of the day called a Pharisee who, by God's saving grace, eventually became one of the greatest apostles of Christ. He used to have Christians killed in the name of God because he felt they were going against religious law, but as he so clearly states in this passage, he became dead to religion. This is Colossians 2:6-23, The Message Version:

"My counsel for you is simple and straightforward: Just go ahead with what you’ve been given. You received Christ Jesus, the Master; now live him. You’re deeply rooted in him. You’re well constructed upon him. You know your way around the faith. Now do what you’ve been taught. School’s out; quit studying the subject and start living it! And let your living spill over into thanksgiving.

"Watch out for people who try to dazzle you with big words and intellectual double-talk. They want to drag you off into endless arguments that never amount to anything. They spread their ideas through the empty traditions of human beings and the empty superstitions of spirit beings. But that’s not the way of Christ. Everything of God gets expressed in him, so you can see and hear him clearly. You don’t need a telescope, a microscope, or a horoscope to realize the fullness of Christ, and the emptiness of the universe without him. When you come to him, that fullness comes together for you, too. His power extends over everything.

"Entering into this fullness is not something you figure out or achieve. It’s not a matter of being circumcised or keeping a long list of laws. No, you’re already in—insiders—not through some secretive initiation rite but rather through what Christ has already gone through for you, destroying the power of sin. If it’s an initiation ritual you’re after, you’ve already been through it by submitting to baptism. Going under the water was a burial of your old life; coming up out of it was a resurrection, God raising you from the dead as he did Christ. When you were stuck in your old sin-dead life, you were incapable of responding to God. God brought you alive—right along with Christ! Think of it! All sins forgiven, the slate wiped clean, that old arrest warrant canceled and nailed to Christ’s cross. He stripped all the spiritual tyrants in the universe of their sham authority at the Cross and marched them naked through the streets.

"So don’t put up with anyone pressuring you in details of diet, worship services, or holy days. All those things are mere shadows cast before what was to come; the substance is Christ.

"Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They’re a lot of hot air, that’s all they are. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us. So, then, if with Christ you’ve put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it? 'Don’t touch this! Don’t taste that! Don’t go near this!' Do you think things that are here today and gone tomorrow are worth that kind of attention? Such things sound impressive if said in a deep enough voice. They even give the illusion of being pious and humble and ascetic. But they’re just another way of showing off, making yourselves look important."

This next passage of Scripture is also from Paul. No one knows the chains of a religious mindset better than Paul. He was at the top of the religious food-chain before he became an apostle of Christ - thinking he was right in his religious ways, he ended up being asked by God himself, "Why do you persecute me?" The things Paul did for the sake of religion went against the grain of the very core of his religion itself. And so, Paul summarizes what really matters in his letter to the Galatians. This is from Galatians 5:4-6, The Message Version:

"I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love."

Dead to Religion (pt. 3)

And so, Part 3 of this controversial series, "Dead to Religion" beckons us to examine another fly in the ointment. If you haven't caught up on the series thus far, I outlined in my last post how pride is a sure-fire sign of a religious approach to God. In this post, I'm going to tell you about another distinctive "fly" of religion is exclusivity. 

More often than not, it seems those preoccupied with a religious view of God make spirituality out to be a country club instead of a public park. They point to rules, standards, and exceptions that keep out the subjectively-perceived riffraff. That's why Jesus went off on the Pharisees so often - they acted like God's doormen. "Excuse me, sir...ma'am...do you have reservations to meet with God?" They acted like key-holders, claiming knowledge of the "only way" to God...when the Way himself was standing right in front of them all along! How ironic. Jesus said in Matthew 7:13-14:

"Don’t look for shortcuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easygoing formulas for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life—to God!—is vigorous and requires total attention."

Religion does a very good job of taking the truth and packaging it nice and pretty in a steel-reinforced, padlocked box with the seals welded shut. It's impossible to arrive at the truth through a religious mindset. Why? Because it's the polar opposite mindset of God's. He brings life, hearts formed by religion only carry bondage. The religious people of Jesus day even made a something as simple and intimate as a conversation with God (commonly called "prayer") something complicated and overbearing. Here's what Jesus had to say about all that:

"And when you come before God, don't that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?..."The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply." (Matthew 6:5, 7-8)

You may be thinking, "Yeah sure, but I've seen some pretty dedicated people who wave the flag of religion AND live in a Godly manner." Ok, so even if someone who claims to be "religious" has pure motives and operates in their religion with feverish commitment, as commendable their heart may be, they are ultimately like a horse with blinders on: religion focuses all our energy and effort on God alone, leaving the broken and wounded hearts all around us in our blind-spot. That's a trademark of religious plodding: a self-and-God obsession, no room for others. Do you really want to label Mother Teresa "religious" just because she was a nun? 

I'll go one step further and say she wasn't religious at all! Remember, religion vs. relationship. Her intangible approach had no signature of religion to it, no trace of the dysfunctional heart-issues inherent in a religious approach to God. She didn't nurture the disenfranchised in the name of the Catholic church. She didn't show compassion to the hopeless for the sake of wrestling to maintain a pristine standing with God. She didn't feed and clothe hundreds of orphans to put her holiness on display. She did all those things in the name of Christ Jesus, for the sake of hope, to put his heart on display.

To even use the term "religion" to describe Christianity just sickens me now because the term fosters so many different perceptions. Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism are all considered major world religions, and all of them have one distinctive quality that differs from what Christ came to establish: God's kingdom is others-focused. Not worried about living a good enough life to deserve a bunch of virgins in paradise, not focused on channeling and sustaining inner peace, not obsessed with achieving a higher level of spirituality than those around me. Jesus' life and sacrifice established an "it is finished" standard: no more struggling and straining for salvation and perfection. Christ already did it. 

You may be asking, "What do I have to do to experience real life?!" Jesus gave a young man a hard answer when he asked that same question. Check it out here. His disciples were like, "Say what?! Who then can be saved?!" Jesus' response sums up the problem of religion: "With [humanity] this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Our human efforts to get "in" with God were nailed to the cross; we never have to struggle our way to God anymore. As the old saying goes, "The ground at the foot of the cross is level ground." There's nothing we can do to deserve God's grace, no unreachable spiritual level we have to power-up to so we can get to heaven...or get a better seat in heaven. 

So if Christ did the heavy-lifting, the Scripture that culture has made into a cliche really is true: all we have to do is believe. Jesus said it himself - believing is the main ingredient in the recipe, remember John 3:16? Other than that, when asked to sum up what God's looking for, Jesus said 1) Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and 2) Love other people, just like you love yourself (Luke 10:26-28). 

That's it, simple as that. We make such a big deal out of being a Christian - putting unreal expectations on ourselves and others...no wonder people think twice when considering Christianity! Remember that old saying, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" - well, religion is the vinegar. Religion is the judgmental approach to "loving people," critiquing them and guilting them into church rather than embracing them for who they are (like Jesus embraced the whores and thieves). Seems like more people are scared into the arms of God than escorted. As a result, people view God's open arms as those of a maniacal dog catcher or legalistic truant officer, rather than seeing his arms for what they really are: real peace, real rest, real love...unconditionally.

Religion misrepresents God, and so do we if we choose the religion route. So go against the supposed archetype. You already have God's attention, sinner or saint. We are all his children, we just need to come home. Religion is not the way home; that route will only keep you going in circles. Relationship with the Father is the only way to access his heart and reflect it in your own life, shining God's grace into the lives of others. I leave you with one final comment from the Christ, this invitation by Jesus, and I pray that you examine your own life for the wounds religion has left you with. This is my prayer: that you would be dead to religion...and alive in Christ...

 “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ~ Jesus of Nazareth, as recorded in Matthew 11:28-30

Dead to Religion (pt. 2)

Ah yes, Part 2 of a very controversial first post - Part 2, a.k.a., "The Explanation." If you haven't read "Dead to Religion (pt. 1)" yet, check it out here. My goal was not to pick a fight or cattle-prod your spiritual good intentions. I'm just merely challenging the status quo. I'm questioning our culture's definition of spirituality. I'm wondering what's running through the minds of the circle-runners, those who go through the motions thinking their efforts merit more of God's attention and approval...I'm wondering what the heck is going through the minds of the lemmings as they tumble off their own cliff.

Let me be very clear about something: I'm not bashing any sect or denomination or tradition in the Christian faith. I'm not writing to say one is more righteous than another or anything discriminatory like that. I'm talking about religion vs. relationship. The religion I'm talking about is a frame of mind, it's a heart-issue; it's an intangible approach to God, not a tangible outlet to seek him. Let me be even more painfully clear: Religion's not so much the church you go to as it is the attitude in which you go...and mostly, the attitude you take out into the world after leaving church. Religion's not so much what denomination or sect of Christianity you claim as it is heart behind what belief you've chosen to live out. Religion's not so much what "brand" of Christian you are (who people see you to be) as it is your determination to set the core of Jesus' character in motion in your own life and the lives of those around you (who God sees you to be). It's not about which flag you wave, it's about what that flag stands for. I have good friends who are Christians from a far more "traditional" faith background - yet they get it. They embrace Jesus' heart and live out their faith in tremendous ways, some ways far more involved than my own! Why? Because they understand God didn't create us as street-performing monkeys, always trying to impress him with spiritual tricks - he created us for relationship with him, and to facilitate that same relationship in others.

Clearly, religion isn't working. It's a broken system that's been hobbling around since humanity fell away from God. At its core, any religion is a man-made system of beliefs, concepts, actions and ways of living that are believed to bring one closer to some supernatural entity (such as God), and in participating in such, one will attain a higher "spiritual level." Now, this sounds pretty kosher, right? Not much to disagree with here. But remember, in the DNA of every lie is a partial truth. There's a fly in the ointment that few people see before smearing it on their face. Here are just a couple of flies for your consideration:

You'll know if you've tried the religion route that one of the flies of religion is pride. It seems more like a contest to be godly than a relationship with God himself. The religious leaders of the Jesus' day were the target of a lot of his disapproval. Imagine that! The very people esteemed by the masses to be "the most spiritual" were called snakes and frauds by Jesus. And why? It was a heart-issue. They were full of the puss called pride, preening like peacocks in their spirituality. Look at what Jesus said about the "religious people" in Matthew 23:1-12, 27-28:

Now Jesus turned to address his disciples, along with the crowd that had gathered with them. “The religion scholars and Pharisees are competent teachers in God’s Law. You won’t go wrong in following their teachings on Moses. But be careful about following them. They talk a good line, but they don’t live it. They don’t take it into their hearts and live it out in their behavior. It’s all spit-and-polish veneer.

 “Instead of giving you God’s Law as food and drink by which you can banquet on God, they package it in bundles of rules, loading you down like pack animals. They seem to take pleasure in watching you stagger under these loads, and wouldn’t think of lifting a finger to help. Their lives are perpetual fashion shows, embroidered prayer shawls one day and flowery prayers the next. They love to sit at the head table at church dinners, basking in the most prominent positions, preening in the radiance of public flattery, receiving honorary degrees, and getting called ‘Doctor’ and ‘Reverend.’

 “Don’t let people do that to you, put you on a pedestal like that. You all have a single Teacher, and you are all classmates. Don’t set people up as experts over your life, letting them tell you what to do. Save that authority for God; let him tell you what to do. No one else should carry the title of ‘Father’; you have only one Father, and he’s in heaven. And don’t let people maneuver you into taking charge of them. There is only one Life-Leader for you and them—Christ. 

 “Do you want to stand out? Then step down. Be a servant. If you puff yourself up, you’ll get the wind knocked out of you. But if you’re content to simply be yourself, your life will count for plenty. 

 “You’re hopeless, you religion scholars and Pharisees! Frauds! You’re like manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh. People look at you and think you’re saints, but beneath the skin you’re total frauds.”

 Religion is the "bundles of rules," the "flowery prayers," the "secret passwords," all the things we think will get us brownie points with God. But what's the intention behind all those things? Wanting to be perceived as spiritual by those around us, that's what. One of my favorite authors, John Ortberg, calls it "impression management." We try to make others think we're more spiritual than we really are, or better off than we appear to be, by our words and actions - essentially, managing the impressions we're giving. It's a game we all play, some all-day long. Problem is, God's not impressed. Jesus said it best, as recorded in Matthew 7:21-23:

 “Knowing the correct password—saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance—isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? ‘You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’”

The message Christ came to teach was a loss of self-importance. Religious activities feel like nothing more than dead monotony because they are focused on me only, attentive to my spiritual needs alone. It's like a treadmill: your work and sweat is only fulfilling a personal need for your body only, and in doing so, you are staying still...you are not going anywhere. This idea is very similar to the next root of religion...which we will discuss next time, so come on back and bring a friend ;)

P.S. - If you're still confused about the difference between religion and relationship with God, check out this video. It's a bold definition of this difference. I hope this sheds some light on the subject at hand for you...comment with what you're thinking!

Dead to Religion (pt. 1)

UGHHH!!! I love writing my blog, but boy has it suffered the past month! My career as a performing artist has reached a new level, and my blog has paid the consequences. I'm frustrated by my lack of posting, so the only way to remedy that...is to post! :)  I've been daydreaming about something for the past few years that God's been teaching me through various outlets of his truth, and as I was reading Romans 9 today, I felt I needed to flesh out this daydream...

Are you a religious person? I used to think I was. I've known God my whole life - in a constant, steady relationship with him all along - and it's because of this that I've come to know something about him: God is NOT a God of religion.

Whoa, HELLO!! I bet that rang your bell! Right now, you're one of two things: 1) Absolutely appalled, or 2) Pretty darn confused. Maybe you're both. So that leads me to one thing: an explanation. Eh, what the heck, I guess I'll go ahead and explain myself. I owe ya that (wink, wink).

You heard right - God is definitely not about religion. Religion is not in his agenda. He didn't send his son into a broken world as the ultimate scapegoat in order to preserve the continuity of a religious system. If that shocks you, you need to rethink God. Brazen? Bold? Nope, truth. So many of our perceptions about God and Christianity and what it means to follow Jesus is based on what we've been told, or what we've heard is "right," not based on Jesus' actual mission as described in biblical accounts. Think about it: the Bible is read by humans. Check. Humans, by nature, are imperfect beings and oftentimes intentionally or non-intentionally misconstrue the truth. Check. Humans teach/instruct/correct other humans "truth" based on what they themselves have heard/experienced. Check. The problem goes back to the second check mark: humans are imperfect beings. We don't always interpret "truth" accurately, and whether intentionally or non-intentionally, we end up feeding someone a lie. The recipe for a lie is a partial truth, so it sounds good and we eat it - often in a state of mind ignorant of the truth. Thus the young and impressionable are formed by a train of thought -potentially truth-filled, potentially faulty - until they mature one day and hopefully seek the whole truth by God's help (who is, by the way, the Truth, the Whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth...the source, remember?)

Now, let me clear the air a little: I'm not saying that parents and sunday school teachers and friends/relatives are deviously spoon-feeding us lies, watching with a devilish grin as we take the bait. Far from it! We are all the product of what's been passed on to us or what's shaping us in this moment - culture and generational doctrine mostly, what's been passed down to us from someone else's teaching, a chain of teaching with many links. This chain can be very strong...if based on something more foundationally sound and greater than itself, such as God's word. Even teaching passed on from human-conceived concepts are dangerous - many a cult have been founded through these ideologies.

I'm also not saying that truth is relative. Far from it! Truth is absolute - anyone who tells you otherwise hasn't met the Truth yet, and that's the Christian's mission: to introduce people to the Truth. That's one reason I have this blog. If truth were relative, society would be like a dog chasing cars - trying to find what's real and what's right in every worldview, every dependency, everything! Those who sought the truth would be hard-pressed to find it in this kind of cultural climate, and those who held to the truth being relative wouldn't care to find the truth at all...mostly because to them, truth is relative, which means there is no truth. Sound familiar? Sounds a lot like the world we live in right now.

The point is, we struggle with truth...and that's ok! Truth is worth wrestling with. That's when it bears the best fruit - a farmer doesn't produce good crops when he hardly lifts a finger to cultivate the ground! Good crops - in this case, truth - come with the sweat put into it: asking the hard questions, seeking fullness among the fillers, knocking on doors that have been closed to most others. God's heart beats for the askers, the seekers, those who knock on truth's door. It's a passionate pursuit, not for the passion-less. Truth-seeking is a journey, not a routine. It's not for those who would rather settle for going through the motions, not for those who think God respects the outer works of humans. God is more interested in the heart of humanity. That leads me to my original point: God is NOT a God of religion.

Real quick, when you think of religion, what comes to mind?...chew on it for a few seconds.

Ok, now what were those thoughts? I'll give you a little of what comes to my mind: I think of robes and rituals. Silly, ornate garments. Motions and mechanics. Traditional barriers, rights of passage, exclusive clubs called churches. I think of swinging lanterns and pride renamed as "piety." And see, like I said before, the lie is not far from the truth. Most people think "holiness" and "piety" are the same thing. Most people think God is keeping tally of their prayers and building a case against them on the basis of how often they act good or not. This God is a God of score-keeping. This God is a God of payback. This God is a God of paranoia. This God...is a God of religion.

But this is NOT the God of Creation, the Father God so many have come to misunderstand. This is NOT my God. My God is NOT a God of religion. What are your thoughts on this kind of God? Comment and let's discuss, we'll transition to Part 2 soon...

Life As We Know It

Eight weeks...

Exactly eight weeks until our baby girl arrives! No, not in the mail or by stork. Just like the "proof is in the pudding," I can say, "the baby is in the belly." And you know, it's been all this time, but honestly - the impact of what is about to happen hasn't fully hit us yet. Everyone keeps saying this one distinctive phrase: "life as you know it is about to change." Duh. I'm not sure if they intend to say that to encourage us, or to let it loom ominously over our foreboding heads, but either way it's daunting. I think we are still dumbfounded in a way. I mean, we're not in denial or anything - we're super excited! But since it wasn't a planned pregnancy, I can say this: we are elated that this joy is coming into our lives, and we've dreamt of it for so long - yet at the same time, it's like the feelings we expected to feel haven't caught up to us yet. We've run really far ahead of them.

The antsy feeling waiting for the little blue + on the tester. The friends at our side to cheer our good news. The sheer feeling of intentionality with something so meaningful to us, something we wanted to get the conditions just right for...all these didn't happen. Nonetheless, I've realized that it probably never would have happened if we were waiting for all the "perfect" conditions. If we waited until everything lined up and fell into place as we envisioned it to, we would be childless for a long while! A great artist named Warren Barfield said it best in a song of his called The Right Time:

When we got the news, it was like God saying
"I knew better than to wait on you..."
If you're waiting for the right time
The right time will fly right by you
Always planning, never moving
Always praying, never doing
It ain't living if you're just spending your life
Waiting for the right time

Check out this amazing song on YouTube -

















Let me be clear: there's no stale taste in our mouth. How could there be, we're getting the one thing we've been preparing our hearts for since long before we entered adulthood - our prized and precious child. The fruit of our love. We've had absolutely no problem wrapping our heads around the who, what, where, and why- we've just had to adjust to the when of our little joy coming into our lives and the how we experienced the news vs. how we thought we would.

But you know what I've come to learn through this experience? Preconceived notions are overrated. I dreamed of being the perfect example of a Godly father, someone who listens to their children every time and executes sound judgement with wisdom and compassion. But from what other parents have told me, that's pretty unrealistic! Let me tell ya, I'm going to do my best to be that father, but much to my chagrin, I'm going to screw up sometimes. I know there may be times when I'll be frank with them when I should've listened. I know there may be times when I will need to assert my wisdom, but instead I will opt to leave things unsaid like a coward...or I may assert it too often and become the father no one listens to or respects.

That's the beauty of it all, though. No one has ever gotten fatherhood perfect but God himself. That's why one of his nicknames is "The Perfect Father." I'm glad I'm not trying to live up to the job description of "perfect father"- that's a lot of pressure! If I go into this expecting perfection out of myself, I will be sorely mistaken and end up disappointed in myself pretty quickly. One of my favorite bands, Shane and Shane, got it right in a recent song of theirs, The One You Need:

I wish that I could be your everything
Be the one to give you all the things you need
Sometimes I'm gonna let you down
But there's someone if you just believe
He'll be your hero like he's always been for me
Darling, Jesus is the one you need...

Check out this tear-jerker on YouTube --->

















The closer the time comes, the more I realize that God has been equipping both me and Jodi in very specific ways all our lives, and that my disillusioned expectations, if pandered to, will subtly set me up for some major insecurities. All I can hope to be is a Godly model of a father to my children and raise them to know Jesus for who he is. The rest is going to fluctuate with the circumstances, but I can resolve to be intentional about sharing my faith with them. I can be intentional about valuing their formation above the things that bite at my time. I can be intentional about raising them well, not trying to raise them perfectly. That's how people become resentful many times - from being raised in a home with unreal expectations, or none at all.

So if life as we know it is about to change, I can say without a doubt..."I'm ready." Not ready in the ways I thought I'd be, but who is? Who will ever be? I'm glad the goggles we see life through now is about to change. The way we define what "life" is. Life as we know it is about to be exchanged for a very different life...a very welcome other kind of life.